Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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