garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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