I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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