Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
