i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
