can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
