Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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