he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
What a dumb baby whore.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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