paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize