so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Randomize
