I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
