Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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