I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
