1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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