would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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