did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
it's like heaven, but drunker
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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