Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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