Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
