I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
