Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
