operation have a gay friend backfired
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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