in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
