Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
