i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
