I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
