There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
