So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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