Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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