Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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