I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
