so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
