I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So squirting runs in the family.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
