Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
