I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i out mim tonsoeep
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