The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
