I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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