biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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