summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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