I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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