laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
