I wanna bring you to show and tell
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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