Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
