So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
