My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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