it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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