Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
