Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
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