He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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