dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize