I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
