yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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