And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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