Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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