I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
