3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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