Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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