was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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