Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
