let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
