I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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