I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
