She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
