Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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